Are you frustrated with not being able to do more?

You are not alone! That is such a common experience on the recovery journey.

Also, it makes total sense – you have been able to do so much more before this chronic illness, and right now you’re acutely feeling the limitations.

Let me assure you that this feeling of frustration doesn’t mean you’re doing recovery wrong or that you won’t recover or that it’s going too slow. On the contrary – everyone I know who has recovered felt frustrated at some point with how slow their progress was and wanted it to go faster.

If you’ve been paying attention to your nervous system states you might have noticed that this frustration is connected to fight/flight, freeze or shutdown. In that case, you might be worrying that this state is slowing down your recovery. (Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to!)

Let me assure you, this state that you’re in and the frustration you’re feeling doesn’t need to be a stumbling block on your recovery journey. Instead, it can be a stepping stone toward recovery.

In some ways, the recovery journey is about learning how to respond well to our emotions and to meet the needs that we weren’t meeting in that past.

This is an opportunity for you to learn how to relate to yourself in a new way, so that your mindbody won’t feel the need to produce chronic symptoms anymore.

That means that in a few moments you will be taking an important step toward recovery. I’m excited for you! 😍

So how do I respond well to frustration?

I’m glad you asked! This is the most important question, right here.

In a nutshell, we need to discover what is underneath this frustration, what is truly driving it. You might think that what is driving it is “I can’t do activity X”. Sometimes that’s true, but more often there are other subconscious reasons. It could be more about what doing that activity would mean about you or about your chances of recovery.

When we know what is underneath the frustration, then we can respond to it in a helpful way.

So how do we discover what’s underneath the frustration?

Step 1: Notice the story

Here’s the first thing that you need to know: This frustration that you’re feeling is driven by the story you’re telling yourself. This story is running in the background, sometimes subconsciously. For example, it could be one of these:

“I should be able to do more by now.”
“I’m behind; I’ve lost so much time.”
“They get to do fun things together, but I’m always getting left behind.”
“If I can’t do these activities now, I’m afraid that I never will.”
“I’ll feel good about myself once I can do XYZ.”
“Life has gone on without me.”
“What if I never get there?”
“I can never do anything spontaneous anymore. I miss being spontaneous.”

Do any of these resonate? (If not, don’t worry – there are many more in the quiz below)

When I say that these are stories, I’m not saying there isn’t a kernel of truth there – sometimes there’s a whole lot of truth! When you recognize them as “this is a story I’ve been telling myself”, then you can say “No wonder I’m feeling frustrated. Anyone would feel frustrated if they would be telling this story to themselves.”

There is no judgment here – we all tell such stories to ourselves from time to time. Now you’re probably noticing that you are in fact running some kind of story, which is a step in the right direction 💪

Noticing the story helps us gain some more True Self energy and a bit more perspective on the situation. When we’re identified with the story, there can be no perspective shifts. So we need to step back and observe it like the story it is.

Step 2: Take the quiz

The quiz will:

Help you discover what is driving your story (and thus the frustration)
Help you know yourself better, to understand your deeper motivations and needs (this is what you need in order to recover)
Show you how to work with this frustration, based on what is driving the story

Don’t worry, we’ll do this step by step 🤗